A Rod Go Round

My take on the A Rod situation is that he'll end up in Chicago with the Cubs. New York says they won't deal. Boston has a firmly entrenched 3rd baseman (though A Ro'd natural position is at short, as we all know). Anaheim will probably pass. I'd love for him to come to San Francisco, but we cna't really afford him, and we're supposed to use all that Barry money to develop more pitching. That leave the Cubs and the Dodgers as teams that would want and aford A Rod. I say it's Chicago. The only fly in that ointment is whether or not A Rod wants to stick with Joe Torre and Torre can convince the Dodgers owners to pony up. In the end A Rod will go where the money is and, while LA could come calling, I still think it's Chicago.

Lancelot Dies Awaiting Lung Transplant

So, Robert Goulet is dead. I will miss two things about Robert Goulet. I will miss the Emerald Nits commercials. I doubt we'll see those any more and they were brilliant. And I will miss telling one of my favorite jokes. I heard it from Buster Poindexter one night on Letterman:

I woke up one morning and decided I wanted to do a Broadway show. I checked "Back Stage" looking for auditions but there wasn't much. "Vampire Lesbians of Sodom," but I did that schtick back in the 70s. Then I saw an ad that said "Second male lead needed for hot new Broadway musical." I thought "great! That's me!" The audition was the very next day at 8am. Well, I had a show to do that night, and the last set finished at one. Then I went to an after hours club until about four. Then I went out with some of the guys for some food. I got in about five o'clock and caught two hours sleep. I got up at seven and I looked like hell. So real quick I showered, shaved, put a little Preparation H under each eye--the old Detroit eye tuck, and headed out. When I got there I walked in and the guy running the casting--who turned out to be the producer--looked at me and said "You're just what we're looking for! You got the job!"

I said "That sounds cool but tell me more about the show. You say it's a hot new musical: who wrote it?"

He said "Sondheim."

I said "Steven Sondheim?"

"No, Bernie Sondheim. He plays in a piano bar down in the village but he's been working on this thing for years and it's really good."

"Ok," I said, "Who's the director?"

He said "Nichols."

I said "Mike Nichols?"

He said "No. Murry Nichols. He's been doing dinner theatre down in Florida for years. You're gonna love him."

"Allright," I said, "Who's the choreographer?"

He said "Tharp."

I said "Twyla Tharp?"

He said "No, Sheila Tharp. She's a flash dancer over in Queens but this is her big break and she's gonna be great."

Then I said "Ok: you say I'm the second male lead. Who's the first male lead?"

He said "Goulet."

I said "Robert Goulet?"

He said "Yeah."

Sox and Rox

Of course I'm rooting for the Rockies in the world series. I live in New York. How could I possibly root for the Sox? Besides, the Rockies are a much better story. A week ago I would have said the Rockies were destined, but after the way the Sox woke up and pummeled the Indians I just don't know.

But there is one New Yorker who is rooting for the Red Sox. This morning Daily News had a smiling Rudy Guiliani on the cover over the headline "Traitor!" responding to his announcement that he was backing the Sox. Inside they called him "The Yankee Flipper." The Post's cover was "Red Coat," with a picture of Rudy (I assume photoshopped) in a Redsox jersey holding a sign that read "Go Sox." The News headline asked "Come on, Rudy, How can you root for Red Sox in series?" I can answer that (I'm sure they did too, but I didn't bother to actually red the story). It's easy. He's trying to move up in the New Hampshire Primary. He knows that the BoSox are the team of all New England, not just Boston, so by backing the Sox he's trying to win votes. Thus proving once again that all politicians are whores (and so are the tabloids).

Today's Great Headline

Ok, here is the headline that was just waiting to be written. I'm shocked it took so long:

KID ROCK ARRESTED AFTER WAFFLE HOUSE BRAWL.

Nuff said.

Scarlet Knights Gore the Bulls

I just want to say that I knew all along Rutgers was going to beat South Florida. And it was a great game to watch.

Let the flood gates open

According to several news outlets, Kathleen Casey-Kirschling, born January 1 1946, today became the first baby boomer to apply for Social Security. The end of the world and total economic collapse of the United States is at hand. Stock up on canned goods and run for the hills.

Ok, let's get this straight:

Last week Congress voted to condemn the Armenian genocide and Turkey, where it is illegal to call the genocide a genocide, withdrew its ambassador and moved troops to the Kurdish border. Congress voted to give the Dalai Lama a medal and China withdrew from a meeting on sanctions against Iran. I'm all for condemning genocide and religious intolerance (though the case of the Dalai Lama is a bit more difficult, since the Dalai Lama is not just a spiritual leader but the ruler of a theocracy in exile, and theocracies are something that don't sit well with me), but is congress by making symbolic gestures hampering our foreign policy? Honestly: we cannot afford to lose Turkey while we have. troops in Iraq and while the Kurds are our one success over there. Nor can we lose China in dealing with Iran.

Disnified

I haven't seen todays numbers yet, but last week was a great week for Disney and I meant to write about it. The number one movie in the country was The Game Plan, a typical Disney live action family comedy, and the top spots on both broadcast and basic cable were dominated by ABC, ESPN, and Disney Family Channel (admittedly buoyed by hgih ratings for football and the ever popular High School Musical franchise). Good time to be a mouse.

The Big Letdown

God dammit! Fucking bears! Cal was poised to be ranked number one for the first time in forever! LSU had gotten beat! On Monday they'd be the number one team in the nation. If they'd won out from there they'd have been playing for a national championshin (not that it matters: I care about the Rose Bowl, not some mythical national championship that means nothing anyway). And they loose. To Oregon State. I swear: theose guys looked at the scoreboard, saw that LSU had lost to Kentucky, and said "this is it! We're number one!" and got hteir asses kicked because they weren't thinking about the game.

Well, a Rose Bowl is still within reach.

Peace Through Dynamite

Now that he's won the Nobel Peace Prize it's time for Al Gore to announce his candidacy for president. I know I've been saying Richardson is my guy. He is: but Gore was robbed, and I'm still mad about it. He is the guy waiting in the wings, and I'd back him if he entered. And now is the time.

For Shame!

I tend to blog more when I am mad and right now I am furious! Republican bloggers and politicians have begun attacking the family of Graem Frost, the boy who was featured in the democratic response to President Bush's opposition to the S-Chip program. HIs family makes about $45,000 a year and has a few investments, and qualifies for the program under Maryland's policies. They've been turned down for helath insurance three times due to pre-existing conditions. The father is a contract woodworker and welder, the mother is employed but doesn't receive healt insurance. These are hard working people trying to get by, who have a child in medical need and absolutely no way to help him without assistance, and the right is making them out to be welfare queens.

This is why the republicans are morally bankrupt! This is why they have no business running this country! They employ the politics of smear, attack, and divide and unleash their guns on children and working families!

For shame!

And for the record, in Canada niether this nor the new GM contract nor anything else in this country that causes us to angst over health care is necessary--all of which proves why we need a single payer health care system in this country!!!

AfterBsh

A big thing happened on Wednesday. Laura Bush waded into a foreing policy issue. It's not that she hasn't spoken up on such things before, but it has been rare and never like this. She basically called the military government of Myanmar (like President Bush she uses its old name of Burma) to step aside and make way for democracy. There was nothing in her speech that waveredin anyway from the position that President Bush outlined in his address to the United Nations, but calling them a "Friendless Regime" was more extreme than even her husband had been.

The big question is why? I think first of all the White House is looking toward Hilary Clinton's eminenet nomination by the Democratic Party. They'll be able to hold Laura up and say "See, Clinton wasn't so extraordinary as First Lady." Of course that type of strategy could backfire, as they would be hard presed to portray her as a "medler", something she was accused of during her husband's administration.

But I think it's got more to do with Laura Bush's career. She is positioning herself, like Hilary did before her, for a post-whitehouse political career. A senate run in Texas would not be out of the question but both those seats are held by republicans already. Certainly an ambassadorship in a future Republican administration would be hers for the asking. Perhaps a governorship. It would give her something to do while her husband is running Major League Baseball. I'm thinking, like Eleanore Roosevelt before her, ambassador to the United Nations should Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee or Fred Thompson win the election. (Rudy would never appoint her to the UN, though McCain might giver her Burma).

Heisenberg's Principle In Action

So I love this! It seems one of those little monsters from the reality show Supernanny set fire to his house. In Supernanny, a British nanny goes in Mary Poppins on a house full of lord of the flies wannabes and tames them through stern discipline. On TV it always appears to work. Well in this particular case what the little guttersnipe actually learned is that when he acted out he got more attention. He played demon spawn for the cameras, and when the cameras went away he worse, finally turning into a little arsonist. It's Heisenberg's principle that that act of observation changes the object being observed in human form. And it proves that realty TV isn't.

A true democrat

Ok, I just had to share:

Because I supported John Kerry in the last election and worked on his campaign, I still get emails from his office. They read like he's running for president, and maybe he is.

Last night I had a dream about John Kerry. He was fishing in the Caribbean somewhere. For some God only knows why reason, Hanna and I were watching him on TV. But halfway through the dream we were there with him. But we were the only people with him. After he caught a really big fish he said "Ok, it's time to announce." He handed me a camera phone, but it was a camera in an ugly two piece office phone from about 1965. He proceded with his announcement that he was running for president by doing that schtick from the beginning of Jackass II, sticking his dick in a sock and dangling it in front of a garden snake until it bites him. I can't even remember if he got the words "President of the United States" out.

So I guess the message is that Kerry's a jackass.